Q. Why is Polygamy allowed for man, but not for woman? Why is there no birth control in Islam?

A. (#DrZakirNaik): Regarding the first question that – why is Polygamy allowed for the male, and not for the woman?…Why is a man allowed to do Polygamy? Polygamy means, a man having more than one spouse… more than one wife. Polyandry, is the woman having more than one husband. In fact if you analyse, Qur’an is the only religious Scripture on the face of the earth, that says…‘Marry only one’ it’s shocking. Qur’an is the only religious Scripture on the face of the earth, that says…Marry only one. If you read the Ramayana, if you read the Vedas, if you read the Bible, other Scriptures….No Scripture says… Marry only one, except the Holy Qur’an. In fact, if you read the Scripture of the Christians, their saint Soloman, had hundreds of wives – Abraham had more than one wife…the Bible says, three wives. Even the Hindu Scriptures, they had several wives… the father of Rama… King Dashrata – he had more than one wife.The Holy Qur’an is the religious Scripture  which says that…Marry only one. It says in Surah Nisa Ch. No. 4, V. No. 3, “Marry woman of your choice, in twos, threes or fours. But if you cannot do justice, marry only one” – Islam puts an upper limit. In other ways of life, you can marry as many as you want – no upper limit. Islam puts on upper limit, of maximum four. But you can marry, only if you can do justice. If you can’t do justice, marry only one. And the Qur’an says in Surah Nisa, Ch. No. 4, V. No. 129, that… “It is difficulty to do justice between your wives. So don’t altogether turn away from them”. It is nowhere mentioned, that if you marry more than one wife, you get more blessings. No where its mentioned – Its optional.

So, why has Islam given permission to marry more than one wife. The reason is that, Islam has given permission because…if you analyse the birth rate of male and female… they are approximately equal. But if you ask any pediatrician…  a doctor of the children,  he will tell you that…The female  child can fight the germs and the disease, much better than a male child. They are the stronger sex medically – so there are more death rate in the males, than the female children. When you grow up, there are accidents taking place, wars taking place, more men die than women. If you analyze the statistics of the world, India is one of the few countries, in which the female population, is less than the male population. You know why?… Because there is the answer given in BBC…a television programme “Let her die”, by the title… assignment  Emilly Beckhenen, a Britisher. She came and said…according to the statistics…Every day, more than 3000 feticides are been aborted, after they are identified as female. According to a government hospital report, of Tamil Naidu…Out of ten born alive, four are put to death…female children. Islam prohibits female  infeticide , in Surah Al Takurr, Ch. 87, Verse 8 and 9. In fact, Qur’an says in Surah Isra, Ch.  17, Verse 31, as well as in Surah Anam,  Ch.  6 Verse 151 , “Kill not your children for want of sustenance , for it is Allah who will give…who will give sustenance,  to you and your children”. It is prohibited in Islam…even if its male or female. So because of this…that the male population is more in India. If you stop this evil practice of female infeticide  and female infeticide…even in India,  within a few decades, the female will be more. If you know the statistics of America… in America alone, there are 7 to 8 million more females than the males – in New York alone, there are one million more females than males. Out of the population of New York,  1/3rd are Gays. Gays, means Sodomites,     Kaume – Looth… who can’t find female partners. There are more than 25 million Gays, in America. If you analyse the statistics, there are more than 30 million females in America, who can’t  find husbands.  In U.K. alone, there are more than  4 million females, as compared to males  – Germany alone, there are more than  5 million females, more than male – Russia alone, there are more than 7 million more females, than the male. And almighty God alone knows, that how many millions females, are more in the world, than the males. If I agree with the customs, the religious Scriptures, put no upper limit – You marry as many as you want. If you believe into the customs of the other ways of life, that… You should marry only one – and if my sister happens to live in America, and suppose the market is saturated – every man has got a wife for himself.  Yet, there will be 30 million females, who won’t be able to find husbands. If my sister happens to be one of those unfortunate ladies, who has got not married, living in America – the only option remaining for her is… she either marries a man who already has a wife, or become public property – There no third option. And I have asked this question, to modest people… That what would you prefer for your sister?…Would you prefer your sister, marry a man who already has a wife, or become a public  property. All the modest people said that…We will  choose the first one,  when required. If you can get a man who has got no wife, then grab him…No problem. Regarding the second part of the question, that why can’t the Muslim women, be allowed to marry more than one husband? The reason is that of you analyze if a man has more than one wife , you can identify father as well as the mother. But if a woman has more than one husband…you can identify the mother, but not the father.  There are today…researches today done, that you can have genetic coding  and blood testing, which can identify. May be possible…which is accepted  by the court of law …I have got no objections . That  is one of the reason, may be for the past. These one other reasons, that a man is more sexual than a woman, biologically. And if a man has more  than one partner…more than one wife, there are no problems of sexual disease. But if a woman is having more than one husband, then there are chances of Veneral disease, more chance of AIDS, more chance of general diseases. That’s the reason, why Islam does not allow polyendry. Hope that answers. Birth control is a very low. Birth control means… Birth control, is a word used by every one… should follow  this, by hook or by crook. Like, India takes out a law…Hum Do, Hamare Do… Ek Ke Baad, Abhi Nahi – Do Ke Baad, Kabhi Nahi (We two and our two, after one not now and after two not ever). See irrespective of rich and poor, if my parents would have done family planning, I wouldn’t have been here. I am the fifth child of my parent  – I wouldn’t have been in front of you. So birth control is not allowed in Islam. Birth control is for every one – whether you  are rich or poor… you follow. Regarding  family planning, there are do’s and dont’s – For that, you can refer to my Video Lecture – Qur’an and Modern Science – its given there… it’s a long answer. Hope that answers your question

Related question: why is Polygamy permitted in Islam – and that is why, a man is allowed to marry more than one wife?

 

11 thoughts on “Q. Why is Polygamy allowed for man, but not for woman? Why is there no birth control in Islam?

  1. it’s long and good answer, but why can a man marry more than one?? because you said that what the Qu’ran said and some statistics in any countries and women are the majority in the wold. However, you dont say why/ say clear the reasons. In my point of view it’s not clear… explain me please

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  2. Rubbish. If this reason is explained, then it becomes regional and seasonal. In today’s world, men are more and women are less. So to satisfy, your criteria, women should be allowed to marry multiple men. To identify the father it, it can be on rotation or a DNA test can be done, or except one individual the rest will use contraceptives.

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  3. Present world required the reasoning not what theological explanations. We need statistical reason too to some extent. Basically, women need equivalent opportunity as that of males. The differences of males & females should not be used for oppressing other gender.

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  4. There are cirumstances, where it may have been appropriate to be married to more than one person at a time. The question is who decides whether justice is being done to all wives. Are the clerics who perform these marriages obligated to make sure that all wives feel that their needs are being met before an additional is being taken on. Are they obligates to assess the man’s finances aND impact on children from previous marriages. One thing that men who take on multiple wives have in common is that they are all bad fathers. The third or forth wife is usually much younger. Do the clerics feel it Is it justice to make a young girl married to an old man who already has obligations to previous wives and multiple children , when she could be married to someone her own age, who can give her and her children all his time and attention, abeit less money. Many parents who marry their daughters to older men with multiple wives and children do so for their own social advancement rather than for the wellbeing of their daughter. If the husband is really doing justice he should find out how the young girl feels about being wife number four to an old man with children, and talk to her about her options if she has any reservations.I think the reason most western Muslims are not fighting is becuase, is becuase justice is rarely done, although there are exceptions.

    I don’t claim to be a qu ran scholar , however the term have ‘two three four wives as long as you can do justice, ‘to me does not mean you can have four wives. It is satirical, and means ‘look doughnut brain, figure it out, how can you have four wives and do justice to all?’ Rather than providing a restriction the statement encouraging men to figure it out for themselves. I do not understand how that statement is interpreted as meaning men can have four wives.?

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  5. There is not more chance of Veneral disease if the husbands are not sleeping withrough multiple women. They should stay faithful just like wives are expected to stay faithful. Let us be honest the practice of taking on multiple wives is almost never’ just.’ It is not just to the first wife. Many couples go through a midlife crisis and work through it. By the time they are in their sixties things settle down, they are glad they resolved their conflicts and enjoy their golden years together. If given the option to just take on another wife, problems are never resolved. It is not fair to the children of the first marriage. In order to attempt to meet the needs of both or all four wives, it is unlikely he is spending enough time with his children. It is unjust to the second and third wives, who have been deprived the experience of marital life between a man and a women. Also it is often unfair to the husband, as he on some level knows he is doing wrong, and this conflict causes suffering . Due to lack of spiritial guidance he believes he can look for immediate gratification and power, rather than search for a greater long term spiritual satisfaction which would come from devoting himself to his husband and children. The message written by Ernest Hemingway to his first wide Hattie ‘ I wish I had died, never having loved anyone but you. Hemingway had four wives, abeit at different times with some overlap.It concerns me that these clerics are charging their fee and performing these marriages, without taking the time to ensure the situation really is ‘ just .’

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  6. Hello, I am a Muslim girl of 17 and I understood the majority of his article. However, as a biology student I am not completely sure of the accuracy of women transferring AIDS whereas men don`t even if they sleep with many women. Furthermore, I`m sure that most homosexuals are not homosexual because they cannot find a partner from the opposite sex. I, for example am attracted to males but that is not because I can`t find a suitable female partner, it is because I have no such tastes in females (or the majority of males for that). Also, what you mentioned about polygamy…. I agree with to a certain extent and now I understand why it is halal in Islam for a man to have UP TO 4 wives. It would be great if you can make a post on why cohabitation and a long term relationship (just like marriage but no formality binding it) is prohibited in Islam so we can explain it better to people who ask this question! Thank you so much for the knowledge!
    Assalamu`alaykom

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